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Musicians are not always the best when it comes to managing their wealth. It’s often left to the cunning talents of a CPA to protect a successful artist’s fortune. And so, ever since the Great Era of the Opulent Rock Star kicked off in the late ’60s, musicians like Frank Zappa, Billy Squier, and Adam Ant have all been deifying their accountants in their songwriting. And so, it’s no surprise that this trend has found its way into the annals of hip-hop history, as well.
Usually, accountants appear in rap songs as a clever way of serving up some healthy “financial braggadocio.” Often the word is paired in rhyme with “countin’,” as in bills, stacks, and parmesan; but sometimes rappers will pair the word with “mountains,” which is fun. Sometimes it’s not even used as the rhyming word at all. And there’s even this thing where rappers will just literally start talking about doing their taxes. It’s almost as if when the song starts to get too dope, they have to balance it back out with some boring stuff.
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And now back to this collection of rap songs that feature accountants in them. Follow along with the playlist below (and for the songs not on Spotify, you’ll find YouTube links).
Notorious B.I.G. – “Juicy”
“Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur. Phone bill about two Gs flat. No need to worry, my accountant handles that.”
Drake ft. Jay-Z – “Pound Cake / Paris Morton Music 2”
“My classmates, they went on to be chartered accountants. Or work with their parents, but thinking back on how they treated me. My high school reunion might be worth an appearance.”
Pusha T ft. Jay-Z – “Drug Dealers Anonymous”
“Who deserves the medal of freedom is my accountant. He been hula hooping through loop holes, working around sh*#. IRS should’ve had the townhouses surrounded.”
Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
“Finesse a man with some counterfeits. But now I’m countin’ this parmesan where my accountant lives. In fact, I’m downin’ this.”
DJ Khaled ft. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain & Snoop Dogg – “All I Do Is Win”
“Got twenty bank accounts, accountants count me in. Make millions every year, the south’s champion.”
Future ft. T.I. – “Magic”
“On my way to Aspen, I forgot to do my taxes. Call up my accountant, he gon’ make it do magic.”
Public Enemy – “White Heaven/Black Hell”
“Black police, white judge, black business, white accountants, black record company, white distribution.”
Macklemore – “Ten Million”
“And my accountant’s dead (rest in peace). Couldn’t count the commas.”
Macklemore ft. YG – “Bolo Tie”
“M*^#erf*^#er you ain’t my accountant, you don’t know what I’m doing focusing on what I’m giving back.”
Meek Mill ft. Drake – “R.I.C.O”
“I’ve been counted out so many times, I couldn’t count it. Funny how now my accountant is havin’ trouble tryna count it.”
Major Lazer ft. PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj – “Run Up”
“You say your dollars is a mountain. And your mama your accountant.“
The Game ft. Bobby Shmurda, Skeme & Freddie Gibbs – “Hit Em Hard”
“Platinum and gold on my wrist, money, the accountant be countin’ it.”
Rocko ft. Future & A$AP Rocky – “U.O.E.N.O.” (Remix)
“Been rich for ‘bout a year now, you ain’t even know it. Had a long talk with my accountant, I ain’t even blow it.”
Meek Mill ft. Yo Gotti – “Know No Betta”
“Still on that hood sh*#, f*^#ed around misplaced a whole million dollars, fired my accountant.“
Tyler, The Creator – “November”
“What if my accountant ain’t payin’ my taxes? Fillin’ his pockets and IRS show up asking me questions. I couldn’t answer ’cause I was too busy tryna make classics. What if my music too weird for the masses?”
Beastie Boys – “Alright Hear This”
“I got a match to my ass and I’m keep it lit. I need to get some cash, call my accountant Britt.”
Gucci Mane ft. Rocko – “Stay Down”
“I bet the checks don’t bounce, so much cash in the bag, I make accountants lose count.”
Drake ft. 21 Savage – “Sneakin'”
“‘Bout to take over your city and you can’t stand it. My accountant say you sinkin’ like the Titanic. David Blaine last summer, man, you had to vanish.”
J. Cole – “Chaining Day”
“Told my accountant, it’s the last time. I swear this is the last time. I know that I said this sh*# last time. But this the last time.”
Travis Scott – “Beibs in the Trap”
“Tryna text my accountant. Ain’t no service in the mountains (straight up).”
Vic Mensa ft. Chance the Rapper – “Suitcase”
“Blow me in the wind, over the mountain. Would I owe my accountant?”
Dom Kennedy ft. Kendrick Lamar – “We Ball”
“And next time you have the opportunity, talk to your accountant. And look who built the building your office in.”
Lil Wayne ft. Lil B – “Grove St. Party”
“I’m higher than a b*#!h, feel like I climbed a f*^#in’ mountain. Illest n*^#a you know, my accountant’s still counting. Shot hit him a minute ago but his body’s still bouncing.”
Chief Keef ft. Mac Miller – “I Just Wanna”
“Ain’t no way around it. On the phone with my accountant. It feels good to be this wealthy and well-rounded. We got you surrounded.”
2pac – “Young Niggaz”
“Stay strong n*^#a. You could be a f*^#in’ accountant, not a dope dealer. You know what I’m sayin’?”
*Great, you’ve made it all the way down this far. Now we get to share a track from an actual accountant who writes his own raps. Introducing, Raymond Chan, CPA: “All my peeps talk money all day.” Holla back, Raymond.
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